Caitlin 的个人资料Caitlin照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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1月27日 The poem "Wonder"That was really not my best one ever.... I am not used to writing like that... Oh well... Okay.... Anywho.... I am bored and need to finish up this writing type assignment.
So anyways... I have nothing to say, but I didn't like that poem I just wrote very much >.< But I am not gonna take it down.
This is probably going to be my shortest blogs ever if I stop here...
Well... Yeah.... I am stopping here...
Bye-bye
Ttfn
BTW: FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ON MY BLOGS BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE THAT. WonderTip-toe through
the brush,
Your dark eyes glistening,
Quietly you stalk
through the snow.
Beneath the moon you
move,
Skin brightly glowing
against the dark woods.
Eyes sparkling with wonder,
Closer and closer,
Through the woods you go.
Your journey has begun.
Mystery surrounds you,
and you still move on,
Closer and closer,
to feed your wonder.
What will be there,
you wait to see,
Moving the brush,
hoping to catch a
glimpse.
Your eyes begin to widen,
could it be
That you can see it?
Hold it?
Befriend it?
One step, more
Left, right,
stumble,
Right, left.
The river.
Your one escape.
Silently, you sit,
Dip your toes,
And fall back, into a sleep.
Tiny voices wake you,
Bekoning you to wake,
A light goes by,
then is gone,
You continue your slumber,
Years and year on. 1月24日 Dear Old FriendsDear Old friends,
This may not be the ideal
way to get in touch,
but Dear Old friends,
I miss you.
Dear Old friends,
remember all the old times?
Before high school drama?
Well I certainly do.
Dear Old friends,
remember working as Angels
for the school teachers?
Dear Old friends,
Do you remember loosing touch?
Dear Old friends,
I miss our family-like class.
Dear Old friends,
I loved the old days,
I know all of us couldn't
wait to be free,
No more uniforms,
but Dear Old friends,
do you miss seeing everyones
faces?
I do.
Dear Old friends,
we never really thought the day
would come,
when almost all of us...
Were gone.
Our family split,
and sent away.
Dear Old friends,
do you remember that
Graduation Day?
Freedom, but so so sad.
Dear Old friends,
where did we go wrong?
Our promises of keeping in touch,
gone.
Dear Old friends,
we used to know each other,
but Dear Old friends,
that was before we ignored each other.
I miss all of you,
my Dear Old friends,
but I don't know,
Dear Old friends,
that you miss me.
I love all of you,
in some way I do,
my Dear Dear Dear,
Old friends. So yeah...Well this is my 60th blog :) I am pretty happy about that!
So Idk whay to write right now... I guess I will ramble a little bit on here, something I haven't done in a while xD
Its so weird how a song or a movie can change how you think about people or just life in general. It happens to me sometimes, I love it, but hate it at the same time.
I have been thinking a lot lately... Like always xD But anywho... I really wish I knew it all now. I know you go through life and you figure it out then, but I really want to firgure myself out now... I really don't know who I am, which makes it hard to make decisions about a lot of things. I know I am supposed to make mistakes and all that great jazz, and I know I have and will continue to, but I don't know... I just at least want to figure out who I am now, but I am pretty sure I won't truely know who I am ever, and that is okay I guess... It leaves room for experimenting I guess, but I really would like to know some things...
Lately I haven't been able to eat much... I have never had that problem before. Everything my mom and step-dad have cooked has just been disgusting to me, but I have been able to eat a little more so I am happy about that :)
Today I kept singing about... things... Can't really say, but I started to write down a song (which Idk if I will post on here...) but Leif came before I could finish it, oh well, I will start back up on it later tonight I think.
I should do school now... But I want to write more, but I know I really should be doing school, my deadline is in less than four days and I have A LOT to do, so I guess I will go and maybe write another blog a little later :)
Bye-bye
Ttfn 1月16日 Okay...Right now I really want to loose myself and post something totally personal somewhere, I want this blog page thing to be my online Diary type thing, but I can't do that, I know people read this thing. I am not happy right now. Am I ever when I write on here? Rarely.
I am not happy with myself right now for some reason, and I cannot put my finger on it for the life of me.
It is coming between me and so many people I know. My family, my friends, my boyfriend, but I try not to show it.
Right now I am truely unhappy with myself, just me, not my family, or my friends, or my boyfriend, just me.
I don't know me, I am a mystery to myself, I know that life is supposed to be about self-discovery, but I used to know who I was, but now, I don't know who I am, it is driving me crazy. I would love to know me more, but I don't know where to start.
1. I know I love to write, especially poetry.
2. I know I have way too many secrets, and that gets in the way of people believing that I trust them.
3. I know I love my family.
4. I know I am, and probably will always be, someone that purposefully gets themselves depressed for the purpose of writing, which is weird, but I like to do it at the same time.
5. I know I love to dance.
6. I know I have cried too much.
7. I know I have been hurt by so many and that is why I distance myself from everyone but a close few, but even then, they barely know me.
8. I know how I lost control and know that I won't go there again.
9. I know that every piece of writing that I write is a part of me, or how I would feel about that, or how I think someone would feel about that, and I don't like it when people take it the wrong way.
10. I hate it when people beg me to let them read something I have told them is personal.
11. I know I don't tell secrets unless the person I am telling deserves to know.
12. I know that my happiness usually comes second to others... Which is not always good.
13. I am someone that could tell you I was 100% OK, but inside I was truely dieing and wanting you to just see through the mask I was wearing and the cover-up-my-cry happy voice while I was saying it.
14. I love my sister, even though I have posted some pretty mean poems about her.
15. I love my friends, even though a few of them have been the victims of some of my almost hate poems.
16. I do not want people to ask me if they have been a victim of one of my posts or my poems or essays, because I will not tell anyone whether or not they were.
17. I want a old friend to come up to me and say "Its going to be okay for you."
18. I want to see everyone from my elementary/middle school together again, and just sit and talk about what is new with each other, our class was distant, yet close to one another, and no matter how bad it got, everyone always showed support, even if they hated each other, it was like a family.
19. I want to see everyone in my freshman year math class in a classroom together again, we were also like a family.
20. I want to figure it all out now, but I know it comes later.
21. I want someone that I don't know what they think about me or how they feel about me, tell me what they about me and how they feel or have felt about me.
22. I want to become someone that people look up to.
23. I truely understand the feeling of loneliness, even though I am surrounded by people, nobody can tell me otherwise.
24. Just because you tell me you mean it, doesn't mean I will take it that you do.
25. I try not to make anyone mad or to be enemies with people, not someone to start a fight, and I don't like being drawn into someone else's problem with someone else. If the person you have a problem with is my friend and you are also my friend, do NOT expect me to ignore the other. If I am mad at what the person did, I am not going to completely ignore them, I will constantly remind them in my own way that I disapprove.
26. I love to love, I really do, it stresses me out, which gives me inspiration to write.
27. I don't continue rumors, I go ask the person if its true or ignore it.
28. I love to be honest with people, but I can't always be because they wouldn't want to know me anymore, therefore, "I am not going to tell you." is a perfectly acceptable answer to all personal questions you ask me, yes I know I say it a lot, but its the truth!
29. Stress kills me, but it makes my poems and writing beautiful because they are straight from the heart.
30. I post my poems on other sites in secret most of the time because I know some people I know would NOT like them.
31. I am an obsessive compulsive writer.
32. I won't say that I don't like someone simply because one of my friends doesn't like the person.
33. I know I am probably going to get in some sort of trouble by writing this, or some people might think I am a bitch, but that is okay... Everyone has an inner bitch, even men (love to tell ya that guys!)
34. Writing will always be my escape.
35. Some of the best writing I have ever wrote will not see a publisher simply because I put the dates on my writing and people I know would FLIP, but I can't help what I think and feel sometimes, and I can't help what I dream about.
36. I know number 35 was not the smartest thing in the world to write, but this is more for me than for anyone.
37. I want to be a writer (Yay finally said it on here) so if anyone supports me then SAY SOMETHING! JEEZ!
38. I want to go to college, but I have NO CLUE for what.
39. Writing for a class drains the creativity of poetry.
40. The people that know me most are: Aaron (my older brother), Aaron (my best friend from my first high school),Amanda (my little sister), and my Mom. I know Leif is not on this list, but he has a lot more to learn about me ^_^
41. I have a problem with myself, and I think a few more of these types of blogs will help me, but for now I must get back to school.
Bye-Bye
Ttfn Blllaaahhhh Bllllaaaahhh BllllaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhOkay well... Idk... I haven't really been writing in here for some reason that I will not say.
Well anywho, I am kind of depressed (again) right now... I don't know why though, well I MIGHT know why, but I would rather not say on here 0.0 Maybe on some other site where people don't know me I will though :) Ahh internet heehee
So I might be living out of suitcase for a little bit, but that is up to my older brother...
Oh yeah!
News on my Poetry:
1. I might be entering some of it in a contest, if I can find one that will accept opoems longer than 20 lines XD
2. I have been making a lot of it lately, but so far non of it will be posted on here because of the subject it is on. 3. I love to write it! *muahahaha*
4. Any poem(s) I enter in a poetry contest(s)will be put on here (I think they would be anyways.)
5. If I win the poetry contest I could get money and my poem published (YAAAYYYY!!!)
6. Not many of you care so I am gonna stop writing this list :D
Okay anyways... I feel like I can hardly breathe right now I don't know why, but it is kinda of freaking me out, but I will be fine.
So yeah... That is pretty much it.... Welll......... I might have one poem that I am open to posting on here ^_^ Yay me!
Oh yeah.... I HATE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW DAMN DEADLINES!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
 THEY MUST DIE!! GRRR!!!Well anywho... I hate living where I do now...
Oh yeah, I found out there is a rumor about me in the high school I used to go to -.- Not so thrilled about what was said, and trust me, it isn't a pretty rumor at all. -.- Oh well, I know what is true and so do my friends ^_^ And that is what is important.
Well I am done "oh yeahing" on here for now... I might post another blog a little later, wow my mood changed to be a little happier right now :D
Okay, well Bye-bye!
Ttfn. 1月9日 Trapped Within MeI'm racing
I'm pacing,
I can't get out,
Lies after lies,
I can't take it.
I am trapped within me,
I can't move,
I am drowning,
My thoughts race through me,
Trapped within me,
My emotions are mixed,
This way...?
That way...?
Which way!
I am trapped within me!
I'm running
I'm stubling,
I can't get away,
Tear after tear,
I am breaking down.
Cannot be fixed,
Tripping and falling,
I can't escape!
I am trapped within me;
and its because of you. 1月7日 One More ChanceOne more chance,
just one more,
Go for its,
just once more.
You ask me,
"How do I give him just
one more,
When all he's ever had
were my chances?"
"How do I forget
and move on,
Why should I give him
the chance?"
Let go and Accept
him,
Just one more
for the ultimate change,
Just one more chance.
Love him and do not fear it.
Love him and accept the past.
One more chance,
just one more,
Why not give it a chance,
and no shut the door? 1月2日 "Happy" New YearMy Happy New Year
is anything but.
Drowning in these realized
realities.
One more year.
One more year before times out,
and one more year
I am worried about what I
will be.
Undecided on everything,
no real plan in mind.
I want to escape,
never to be found.
One more year before I am
grown,
well... That is what people
say.
"Once you reach that certain
age,
we are not sorry to say,
that you will be grown up,
and we know its scary,
and we hope
the stress doesn't kill ya,
but you are grown up,
and nothing here
can save ya."
Happy New Year all of you say,
but I wish that day
was never a day,
One more year.
And I am drowning in these
realized realities. |
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