Caitlin 的个人资料Caitlin照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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10月24日 Taking Life "Without" A ChanceHave you ever heard the saying "you can't go through life without taking a chance"? I have used it, and realized that its quite untrue. If you think about it, you always are taking a chance. You take a chance by "not" taking the chance because if you don't take the chance, then you chance loosing what is dear to you, or the experience by taking the other chance. Chance after chance after chance. It is inevitable. You take a chance by walking out your door, by waking up, by eating.
I know I am probably taking this a bit to literally, but I am just in my normal over thinking mind, well... To me its notmal, to some of my friends think it is odd, and I suppose it could be true. Well this one is being made alot shorter than my usual ones because not much needs to be said, just an expression of my thoughts on paper.
Now that I sound weirder than ever, I am going back to write my lovely homework assignment.
Bye-bye now. 10月20日 My weird little story xD Not reallyWow I am bored... I am just kinda wanting to write... Kinda thinking about something I am not open to sharing on here, but I am in a blog mood.... I have been lately 0.0 Not that that is a bad thing... I just have nothing to write really... I am just that bored... *Sigh* Hmmm Idk what to write... I am just gonna write what I am open to writing about right now... Oh yeah, I made something for my mom ^^ I can't wait until I can give it to her :) I said something last night about writing... It was pretty interesting... I might expand on it, although it doesn't need any expanding... I think it is just fine the way it is, it is better to leave somethings alone after all. Wow, such a light color I have chosen for a kind of darker mood... Its odd, I do think often, a bright color matched with a bad mood... Well on here I usually don't take the time to choose the color, but lately I have been, more like by force cause I don't want to use black cause it would have the weird white highlight on it and it would look bad. I am just kind of rambling and I was thinking of putting one of my poems I wrote in I think seventh grade on here... But I don't know... Its a cool poem, well to me it is, it was about one of my dreams xD ^^ My mood is getting a little lighter and I am glad. I am talking to my friend Hazel online, its pretty fun ^^ Hmmm I wish there was something to do... Well there is school... I should probably do that, but I am so spacy right now its hard to focus on school, but that never stopped school from happening before so why should it now? Blog after blog after blog. I wonder why I want to write so much lately... Its different... I just keep wanting to write, even if it is mindless like this one and some of my other ones. Amanda and Leif think I should become a writer... ^^ Just because I love to write doesn't mean I should become a writer though, when I think of a writer, I think of someone that writes essays or poetry or books... I write poetry and essays that are more of a ramble more than anything else... Its odd, oh well, these are just my thoughts, everyone has thoughts, and all thoughts matter so I shouldn't really say "these are just my thoughts" because my thoughts matter just as much as anyone else's. Wow almost went into a rant, but I am not in a ranty mood, just a thinking mood, which does sometimes comes in a rant, but I don't really want to rant therefore I am not in a ranty mood. Wow that was a total round about xD Oh well heehee Sucks to be whoever is reading this, dieing of boredom and the lack of "grab-the-attention-of-your-audience" of this paper. I keep making blogs and I don't know why, just sort of a vent. :) I am glad that I have been writing them though, hopefully someone reads them and gets something from them. Well I am gonna go... Ttfn. 10月19日 Wheeeee New classes!I got my "new" classes today... They are the part Bs to my old ones *Sigh* Amanda was lucky and got two completely different ones from you last ones... Oh well... I am writing in yell for some reason... I NEVER write in yellow cause its hard to read it xD Lucky lucky me, woo I just changed it so it is easier for me to read xD Congratz to me! Wooo Okay anywho I am writing in this thing again (SHOCKER! And way to point out the obvious...) Okay well aside from me somewhat talking to myself on my blog (which I've done before haha) nothing exciting has happened lately... GRRRR I keep writing BLAG instead of BLOG! ITS ANNOYING ME! IDK WHY I AM DOING IT!! GRRRR!! Well I am BORED! There is nothing to do... And its late so I don't wanna start on my classes, but I know I will probably end up doing them because I am so bored (I actually WANTED my classes earlier I was that bored @_@) Wow... Its been a while since I have been all hyper and weird on my blog, lately its been my thoughts on things... OH YEAH!!! We lost power last night! It was fine until 0.0 it got dark, but then it came back on before it got really really dark ^^ Then I was happy and went back to working on my little project. I have the song Super Freak stuck in my head  SHE'S A VERY KINKY GIIIIRRRLLL!! THE KIND YOU DON'T TAKE HOME TO MOTHA!!! SHE WILL NEVER LET YOUR SPIRITS DOWN! ONCE YOU GET HER OFF THE STREET!!! OH GIRL!! SHE LIKES THE BOYS IN THE BAND! SHE'S SAYS I'M HER ALL TIME FAVORITE!! WHEN I MAKE MY MOVE TO HER ROOM ITS THE RIGHT TIME! SHE'S NEVER HARD TO PLEASE! OH NO! THAT GIRLS PRETTY WILD THOUGH! (THAT GIRLS A SUPER FREAK!) THE KIND OF GIRL YOU READ ABOUT! (IN NEW WAVE MAGAZINE!) THAT GIRL IS PRETTY KINKY! (THAT GIRLS A SUPER FREAK!) I REALLY LOVE TO TASTE HER! (EVERY TIME WE MEET!)Wow that is a bad song... but so catchy haha Oh well... A lot of dirty songs are catchy... Hmm Why did people hate disco music for a while? Oh well xD Idk why I am asking that 0.o ^^ I am hyyyyppperrr!! WOOO! SUPA FREAK!!!! I was gonna dance, but then decided against it heehee ^^ Okay well I am sure that a rush of ideas are gonna come cause wtf is this song? @_@ Idk what it is @_@ Woo lets find out, okay clicking the thingamabober... Its called "Let It Whip" LOL Wow... This one is kinda worse xD Not as bad as some though 0.0 Holy crap! LOL There is no wonder as to why Super Freak and Let It Whip are next to each other xD hahahahahahahha Wow xD Interesting song... haha I might have to look this up to find out who sings this HAHA! Come on whip!!I won't waste your time! I sense something divine in yooouuuu!YAY!!!!! Funkytown!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SONG!!! WON'T YOU TAKE ME TO... FUNKYTOWN!?!?!?!!? I love the music with this song... OH YEAH!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!! Gotta make a move to a town that's riiight for meee!! Its not over, but I am not gonna sing anymore... I think!! xD Wooo I love these songs! OOHHH Now the robots!! Hahaha I obviously haven't listened to this song closely xD NEXT SONG!!!"Love Rollercoaster" haha This one is cool xD Not sure HOW to describe it just yet... xD High pitched? heehee High and LOOOW haha Wow... This sounds to trippy.... @_@ Wow they really take advantage of two speakers 0.0 Its cool... A bell in one ear and drums in the other @_@ HIGH HIGH HIGH LOOOOW!!!! haha Wow this sounds so trippy.... Well I am gonna change it 0.0 Maybe not... Wow this is cool in a very weird sort of way... Next song... Now its "Car Wash" This is also weird in the beginning... @_@ Cool! xD I need to pay attention to the beats more haha! Wow I bet this blog is way to log for my "second" one today haha Oh well xD Woo! Car Wash! Yeah! Work and Work! Wow this is cool xD lol If there is some other meaning then I am not picking it up xD I looove these songs!!! *dances in chair* WOOOOO!!! Okay trying to ignore the songs otherwise this thing will be HUGE! xD Welll Maybe one more thing... I am gonna put the CD name MUWAHAHAHAHA! Party Starter: funk 1. Lady Marmalade 2. Brick House 3. Play That Funky Music 4. Super Freak (Part1) 5. Let It Whip 6. Funytown 7.Love Rollercoaster 8. Car Wash 9. Get Down On It 10. Boogie Oogie Oogie 11. You Sexy Thing 12. Tell Me Something Good 13. Word Up 14. Jungle Boogle 15. Fire 16. Early In The Morning 17. Tear The Roof The Sucker (Give Up The Funk) And that is the CD and its songs!!! YAY Okay well I am gonna go before this thing gets ever longer lol! YAY Ttfn!! EmptyI don't really know what to say... I am just blank right now... I feel hallow although I know someone is there... Its weird... I get like this every so often... I don't know why, but suddenly out of no where I feel empty and like no one is there even though I KNOW there is SOMEONE. I wonder how often other people get like this... Its odd. So full of emotion then suddenly you are blank, like the paper of those that do not write their thoughts. I feel like that if someone hit me it really wouldn't phase me how it usually does... Its weird, yet normal for me... This morning I was filled with ideas, that are still waiting to be wrote down, but now... It like something has drained the meaning and life behind the words. No color in my mind... Just sort of an open space, where you have many places to roam, yet don't because you feel limited. When given the opportunity to, you want to, but just can't because of the emotionless state in which you are stuck in, if you were to work or to write it would be without passion, even if negative. It would just be there as something to do. Hallow... I feel like thinking is just something to do and emotionless right now. I don't understand why I get like this. Once I start to question it, emotions come back. Why? What if? How come? What does this mean? Why? How come? Well what if? What if I just didn't do anything with my life? Would I die a miserable life? Would I over think everything? Would I be hurt and never want to break open my shell again? Why would I not do anything? What drives me to do something? How come? What is its point? Does anybody know? Can anybody tell me? Why are they arguing over it? Isn't it different for everyone? Doesn't everyone think they have some purpose? What about the people that think they don't? Why are they here if there is no purpose for them? Shouldn't people consider all these questions beforehand? Why don't they? Will I be up all night thinking about it? Why would I be? I wonder... Why do people wonder? Why do I wonder? Aren't I wondering now? Even as I asked that and this question? When will time slow when I want it to and when will it quicken when I want it to? Who knows? Time doesn't do that... Time is never ending, time is always here. Maybe God is time in a way... Always has been here and always will... Doesn't that make sense? You hit the breaks on time and you are saved. Someone comes in time and helps you. Wouldn't it be different if God really was time? What about religions with many gods? Hmm... I don't know enough about other religions to expand on my question, although I have in my head, I wish to get my facts right before I raddle off on a religious topic. Why is religion such a big deal though? Oh so your religion is different than mine, big deal. Whose right is right, no one knows until they get there. Faith. Even if you don't have a religion don't you belong to a group? You're not so different. No one truly is... We all have something in common, but we all have something different too. Majority look at the differences and see hideous faces and figures, instead of the fellow man or woman. Why is that? Are we that stubbern? Obviously we are. Why are we? Do WE have to be right ALL the time? No. No one is, except, depending upon your religion or non religion, for God, but again those with no religion just say that no one is right. Its a shame, a true shame, that no one will see this and think and say "Hey... I agree with most parts." And TELL ME. Or even tell me that they disagree. I want people to say their opinions and get me used to the idea that not everyone agrees. I know it, but rarely have I had someone just come up to me and flat out say, "I think you are wrong" in a polite way. Not once. Or even that someone agrees strongly. I wish, which doesn't get anyone anywhere, yet used so often in thought and speech, that people weren't so one way, meet half way. Compromise. At least try it. I am feeling now. I feel bad, as is the first emotion to always come. I always regret something from my emotionless state. I feel horrible for it. I do, I simply do. I don't know why. I just do. I need to get off before I start to think to much and say things I don't need to say. Goodnight. 10月17日 "The Things that hurt, Instruct." - Benjamin FranklinWell it is almost Halloween, and I am excited for Christmas. :) I know, I always come a few holidays early with excitement. It never fails, each year I get excited for Christmas, and by the time it finally comes, all my energy for the holiday has been almost spent. I love Christmas so much... The closeness of family and friends, its not even about the presents anymore... Its just being together. It is a shame that this closeness of families and friends comes every now and then, and not more frequent than not. Why is it only designated times of the year? Why is life so much more complicated than it really has to be? Sure, life is complicated if you sit down and think about it, but what with all the new rules, people hating each other, for wrongs that happened to the many generations before them. It is in the past, learn from it, I always hear that... Then why is it that no side has? It is human nature to discover it for ourselves. It starts even as we are children, we know that we will fall if we run on the ice, but yet we do it anyways. While we are infants, we are told that the oven is hot, yet we insist to touch it just to make sure. We may have seen the other kids fall on the ice or burn their fingers, but we have to do it ourselves. "The Things that hurt, Instruct." This goes for adults too, and teenagers, and the elderly. Why then do we do it? We know that racism is wrong, then why is it still here? Is it peoples ever so apparent ability to not let things that did not happen to them go? Or even still, the things that have happened to them go? It is ironic that for the same reason, "The Things that hurt, Instruct." can have two very different effects, yet if used together can be useful in many ways. Both have one then in common, learn from your experiences, one way is to become sour to the object or idea, another is to let it go completely. If these were used together, of course not sourly, but mindful, if it happened once, then happened again, do not be shocked, but let it go, and keep the experience, though the same in a sense. Now I am just rambling. Nothing new. Silly me, why did I post if I knew I was just going to ramble? Maybe to get my rambles down on paper so that others may read an comment on it. These blogs are like my minds little channel... They allow for me to think more on this topic, yet put my mind at rest about the things already written. My thoughts fight each other for the next to be down on paper, to not disappear for a week, a week less for their cause. All thoughts long to be on paper, to be read to get their message across to someone, even if only one. All thoughts "owners" secretly want them to be told, no matter how weird or twisted the thought is. It is their voice, even if demented and cruel, they wish to be heard. To make a stand. All thoughts want to be released from their pen, but only one thought's owner will have the courage to write them, to speak them, to put them into action, to gather support from those that were silently cheering. Other thoughts are cheering for my thoughts, no ones thoughts stand alone, every thought has others exactly like it. Those owners that do not come out and say it have dammed their minds from expression. Wrong or right, they have dammed their minds. A thought of mine has been trying to get out, and now I will allow for it to, I will open the gates and it will be heard. I feel like I am preaching, raising my voice to the rafters of the church known as the sky, making sure that all hear me, or at least those within ear shot, making an attempt to spread word. "Go! Go now! Share ideas and feelings! Do not dam your mind!" Do not dam your mind in order not to be offensive, it is far more offensive for the other to find out later that this wasn't what you wanted at all. Compromise. Be heard, but don't expect everyone to follow EXACTLY what you say. People know this, yet they still try it. Embarrassment and frustration that it didn't work for you! You then compromise. "The Things that hurt, Instruct." |
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